We’re all athletes. We know each other better than most.
But let’s be honest: not all of us like each other. Sometimes not even fellow athletes on the same team, side, or club.
Why is this? Aren’t we supposed to respect the other members in our Society?
Can I get a little…?
We can state that none of the postulates explicitly describe that athletes have to like each other, or even converse with each other. This is naturally disappointing. Being part of a Society generally leads to people getting along better, as we have the same interests and purpose.
We must remember that the first postulate states that everyone is invited to the game, no matter who they are. This includes people that may have vastly different personalities, political views, social skills, or taste in companions than we might have. They might be total jerks. Some of those differing personalities could be on your team. Maybe you’re the jerk with the deviant social skills.
Nonetheless, all of us are athletes. How we respect each other as fellow athletes and Society members is unconditional. The respect come from challenging each other to our best ability, and the willingness to accept others’ challenge. This is at the heart of postulates 5 and 6: by giving our fellow athletes a chance to show their true abilities, and trying to bring them out, we are respecting them. (We must, of course, ensure the challenge is conducted on fair terms, as postulate 3 states.). This doesn’t really matter if it’s our opponents or our clubmates. We’re still trying to get the others to give their best.
That challenge can be really unpleasant, however. We might have a deep distaste for that opponent or teammate, and relish in trying to run them through the wringer as hard and often as possible. Indeed, many of the greatest rivalries in sport have arisen from personality differences. Or perhaps we simply want to get it done with so we don’t have to look at them anymore. Nonetheless, you’re both being athletes and doing our Society, and each other, an honour.
When dislike turns to disrespect
Our greatest sign of disrespect is the unwillingness to toe the line or enter the field of play with one another. If your clubmates aren’t willing to do that, either someone has really deviated from our common postulates, or someone doesn’t really understand them. You can try and discuss these principles as you understand them and seek consensus. Or you can try and understand their version of them and see if it’s still palatable.
Another sign of disrespect would be deviating from postulate 7: diminishing another athlete. That means taking away their potential to perform their best, by physically or psychologically imposing a weakness upon them. Where the psychological line is drawn is sometimes difficult to say, but mobbing, threatening, or systematically excluding another athlete would likely be on the wrong side of it. If you’re teammates are doing this to you, it’s time to find some real athletes to compete with – because they probably aren’t.
When the fun runs out
Yes, it would be great if everyone could be taught to appreciate their fellow athlete on a personal level as well, because we are much more alike than we often admit. But every society has differences of opinion, and even conflict. It is how we resolve these differences and conflicts that makes us a progressive and beneficial society society, or a regressive and destructive one. The postulates can help you find your place in and contribute to our Society, but resolving conflicts is still a very individual skill. At some point, you’ll have to decide if being part of that team, club, or side is no longer helping you develop and be your best – despite your best efforts.
But take heart: if they’re on the field of play with you, then that’s respect. There are many places and societies in this world where much less than is accepted. And respect only builds respect in the end. No matter how much it sucks that they won’t go for a post-match beverage with you.